|
Scotland Freezes
Polar bears in kilts, it's now minus fiveteen.
Ice cube cars and wellies and oor frozen windscreens.
Will I get tae work, will I take the day aff.
Coz that minister Stewart Stevenson, a think he's havin' a laugh?
Where's oor gritters and oor snow-plough's, is oor salt in short supply?
All ma poor winter pansies, bet yer boots there gonna die.
Ma snowman's got the flu, ma sledge has two buckled blades.
And noo ave slipped a disc oot and ave broken three good spades.
Punters wearing earmuffs, snoods and scarves, no skin to bare.
But am in a Airdrie Bookies Shop, no in yon Moscow's Red Square.
Ma wee car is like a bobsleigh as it trundles through the snow.
Ma toes are cauld, ma bum is numb and ma cheeks they are aglow.
River Clyde has all iced over, cancelled trains and frozen locks.
Leggins, gloves and thermal undies, woolly hats and soggy socks.
All ma gutters have collapsed and caved in, ma snowman's heid.
And the birds, they are all starvin', better throw them out some breid.
Penguins play the bagpipes, carrol singers join in too.
Susan Boyle sings White Christmas in the icy morning dew.
Scotland.... Shivverin' to a stand-still, this winter really is a
corker.
Stuff this Stewart Stevenson, am away aff tae Majorca.
©William Willis 2010 |
|
